Barbara's Blog

Who am I? The big question

Deepak Chopra says "According to Vedanta, there are only five reasons why humans suffer: The first is not knowing who we are. The second is identifying with our ego or self-image. The third is clinging to that which is transient and unreal. The fourth is recoiling in fear of that which is transient and unreal. And the fifth is the fear of death. Vedanta also says that the five causes of suffering are all contained in the first cause - not knowing who we are. If we can answer this one basic question, Who am I?, we may find the answer to all other related questions, such as Where did I come from? What is the meaning and purpose of my life? Where do I go when I die?"

This is from his book Power, Freedom and Grace - in which he explains the Nature of Reality, which is the only real answer to this basic question we all ask. Tim and I giving a week-long course in Jutland this August at Væksthøjskolen in Grenå - and this is what we are going to be talking about. The Nature of Reality, the most exciting exploration of all - because if we can truly understand the Nature of Reality, we can also understand who we really are and live happy, fulfilled lives.

I know the course is already over-booked, but if you are interested, please sign up anyway because we will be doing this course again. (See www.vaeksthojskolen.dk)

Looking forward to seeing you all soon!

The best spiritual practice

Eckhart Tolle says the best spiritual practice is "not resisting this moment"... He explains it beautifully in the amazing interview with him called "Even the sun will die" which was taped right after the September 11th bombing. It's an amazing interview and if you haven't heard it, well I suggest you do....

But back to his suggestion "not resisting this moment"... it's really amazing when you start to notice this. When you start to see how often you are resisting this moment. As you watch yourself and become aware of this, you will also start to see that resisting this moment is what all unhappiness is about. Because if you couldn't resist, and if you didn't resist, how could you possibly be unhappy? It wouldn't be possible. Unhappiness is the same as resistance.

When we come to see that whatever is happening is what should be happening - because it is happening - we discover a peace and joy that is far beyond our previous experience. Some people call this "waking up to reality". Noticing that reality always rules because what is simply is. And we don't have a say in the matter, which is quite ok when we rest in the understanding that God is All and Good is Good. When we see this, why should we resist what is. Why should we resist this moment?

Try noticing when you are resisting this moment. As Eckhart Tolle says, it's the best spiritual practice. And see what happens!

Are you crazy or is it the world?

Good question isn't it? And one I am sure you have asked yourself before? I guess everyone who is waking up to reality does... because it's a good question. Especially since it really does seem as if the world has gone mad. The pace, the amount of input, the constant noise, the incessant movement. It's like wow - what's going on! Has everybody lost their minds?

Do we really need to constantly add more stuff to our lives and keep filling our minds with more and more information to find happiness? Do we really need all this noise and activity? Do we really need to go so many places, see so many movies, listen to so many songs, buy so much stuff....???? We all know the answer is NO!!! NO!!! And more NOOOOOOO!

The pendulum swings back and forth and now it seems to have reached the busy busy busy extreme so it's time for it to swing back towards silence, peace, and quiet... or else the world will explode (maybe it will)...

So the answer is NO - if you feel discomfort in the world and just want a little peace and quiet. You are not crazy! The world is....

Enjoy the peace of this day.

A story for love addicts

So here's a nice little story for all you love addicts out there... I read this in Osho's book "Sex matters"...

It goes something like this. He says, well you're unhappy right. You're an unhappy person, so you are looking for another person to make you happy. And well then there's this other person who is also unhappy and who is also looking for someone to make them happy... and well they meet and fall in love and join forces and think they can make each other happy. But how can this happen says Osho. One unhappy person plus another unhappy person doesn't make happiness - it makes 2 UNHAPPY PEOPLE! 

Don't you just love it? And doesn't this sound familiar?

The secret of non-resistance

So you’re involved in a process of rapid growth, looking inward, doing a lot of self-reflection, meditating, going to therapy, reading a lot of books, understanding and processing a lot of new stuff – so why do you feel so shitty? Why do you feel so shitty with all this growth going on? You’re gaining insight right? You’re becoming wiser right? So what’s up?

 

Well here’s what I think. In my experience, as we evolve, all our old stuff comes to the surface to be released – and this can be very challenging. Especially if we don’t understand what’s happening to us. If we don’t understand that this is a part of our process, we get scared, we think there’s something wrong with us, and we try to suppress what is coming to the surface to be released. And this resistance – our resistance – makes everything worse!

 

Then when the pain (anxiety, depression, fear, worry) get too bad – we seek refuge in our old patterns – we eat or we drink or we watch TV or we work and work and work or we let our love addiction or whatever addiction take over… anything to escape the pain….

 

But friends, as you’ve probably discovered – nothing works! Not really. Once you’re on this growth path, once you start becoming more conscious, the old stuff will come up to be released. That’s the way it works – because you can’t go higher in consciousness and keep the old stuff with you. It’s impossible. If you want to evolve, if you want to awake up – you have to look at the old stuff and let it go…

 

So what’s the best way of dealing with this process?

 

NON-RESISTANCE… if you can just let it happen, if you can say to yourself – ok – well this is what is happening…. This is what I am feeling… this is what is… this is what I need to look at… if you can lovingly take yourself by the hand and give yourself a big big hug and well just let everything be… you will see that the peace that passeth all human understanding descends on you… and you will get to taste (maybe just for a moment) the non-dualistic state. You will get to feel (maybe just for a moment) what it’s like when you finally emerge from the battleground that is the world of dualistic thinking…

 

I wish you the peace that passeth all human understanding on this sunny summer day!

Trapped in a golden cage?

Everybody's dreaming about that one love. The one great love that we believe will fulfil us and make us eternally happy. And we think if we just find him or her... well then we'll be home free. But is that true?

I remember watching a bit of the fairy tale wedding of the second Danish prince on TV last month and suddenly the thought popped into my head "poor girl" ... and I realized I was thinking that now she's going to be trapped in a golden cage. I really felt sorry for her. I mean think about it. The beautiful wedding, the gown, the flowers, all the people, even the blessing from God... and then what? Then you're stuck with this dude for the rest of your life! Poor girl indeed!

Why are we supposed to only love one person? And is that love? Is that really God's will for us? Is it really Divine Love when you can't give all the love in your heart to everyone you meet?

And I can hear my jealous ex-boyfriend saying indignantly, "What would happen to our society if everyone loved everyone???" He he he... yes what would happen?

Sex and the City - the movie

Well friends I did it. I went in and saw Sex and the City - the Movie with my friend Lone. And just going into the theater was an experience... It was like the whole world is only women in their 30s.... he he... and me of course and the 3 brave men who I saw in the crowd of about 1,000 women all dressed like Carrie Bradshaw.... he he... and well, what can I say. I loved the TV series, but the movie, well it was a disappointment. Really. And to think that those 4 fabulous women who have such a huge huge fan base - so many women who adore them - didn't do more with their opportunity to do some good on this Planet. Well it's a bit sad really. All that glamour and the big wedding and the clothes, which of course is fun to look at and like reading Vogue magazine... but what happened to our dear little Carrie who lived in her little apartment and was a regular woman who worked and had a job and asked questions about life and all the stuff that we real women actually do... what about the questioning mind... and that urge to use your life to do some good and make a difference... well it seems to all have been forgotten in the rush to achieve the good life as defined by Americans which means money money money and more money - and what about Planet Earth and all the starving hungry children...? I mean even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are doing better than that!

And what about us? What are we doing?

Life always gives you what you need

Have you noticed that whatever your problems or issues are - they keep coming back to you? Over and over again? Until you learn what you're supposed to learn.

Isn't it interesting that Life is like that? You could say that Life is always giving us exactly what we need. No matter how we look at it and, it's not like we have a choice, is it? Life just keeps coming at us.

If for example you're like me and you have a hard time setting limits and saying no, well then Life will keep coming back to you with the same situations - over and over again, until we see it. (At least that's my experience). And then when we see it, well we also get plenty of chances to practice our new understanding too. If you watch closely, you'll see the same stuff coming at you over and over gain whether it's from your partner, your business colleague, your mother or your daughter. Over and over.... it's really interesting to watch. It's all for us! The whole show! Amazing.... 

Are you loving your life right now?

Did you notice, this is your life? Right now? Right this moment?

Can you take it all in? And enjoy the suchness of this moment. Today. With no preparation whatsoever?

José Ortega y Gasset says: "We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient characteristic of life is its urgency, 'here and now' without any possible postponement. Life is fired at us pointblank."

Don't you just love it? And isn't it wonderful that we've all been given this gift? Each and every one of us - young and old, rich and poor, sick and healthy. It doesn't matter to Life who we are or how we are. Life is ours - with no conditions!!

Enjoy this day!

The "yes to life" tour

After sitting with their dying father, my sons Robin and Mark have decided to go on a "yes to life" tour across America this summer. Don't you just love it? When they told me, I felt this big smile stretching across my face... the brilliance of being confronted with the fragility of our lives. And the clear understanding that TODAY IS THE DAY. TODAY IS THE DAY OF OUR AMAZING GOOD FORTUNE. Why? Well because we ARE and because we ARE HERE and NOW. This is it! This is our lives.

So what about you? Are you saying "yes" to your life and your dreams today?

It's a great exercise to take a look deep inside and find out where you are saying "no" to life... where you are waiting for tomorrow... where you are holding back... And if you are, well then think about death. Think about how little time you have left. Meditating on your own death is one of the most life-affirming things you can do!

I love that my sons have discovered this!